It's been a long year.
'Holidays' this year have consisted of taking time off to go to Cape Town, in April, for Richie's massive back operation to remove the lipoma that was/is (but hopefully was) tethering his spinal cord and stretching it.
We went back in September for a follow-up visit.
That's three weeks of 'leave' used up right there. And neither trip was relaxing. And when you're both self-employed, three weeks of leave is three weeks unpaid, so you do the maths, and you don't go away again in December. (Not that it's worth going anywhere with 2 under 3, by the way. You just work harder, in a strange place, with fewer familiar toys and distractions.)
I'm happy we stayed in Jozi over the festive season. After an unsteady start, I got into the new rhythm of childcare, cleaning, cooking, and more childcare. We've grabbed Joburg's child-friendly attractions by the horns too, I must say. Beautiful Creatures, the Sci-Bono Museum, the Zoo, playdates aplenty, new local nurseries with ducks, playgrounds, friends, we even sampled Des and Dawn's kiddies' show at their theatre in Houghton...
Actually, it's been kinda fun.
Of course, I haven't taken on more than one or two small writing projects since sometime in early November, so I've had a long break from one of my jobs. I'm now finally looking forward to getting back into it.
2011 was my Annus Horribilis (sorry, Lizzie). The stress has been overwhelming, Richie still sleeps like achangeling very naughty boy, I get headaches that are spectacularly painful and are probably psychosomatic. 2011, on the whole, I'm happy to see you go.
But even kak years have their highlights. These are they:
1. Richie's left foot. If you read here regularly, you will always hear me referring to Richie's left foot as motionless and feelingless. It's the foot that drops down and that he has no muscle tone in at all. Part of what made 2011 so hard was that, once we'd survived the immense trauma of Richie's surgery, we both watched like football linesmen for any improvements in his condition. There were none. We had to get used to that. Second-guess ourselves: should he have had surgery at all? Did the surgery at least arrest further deterioration? The doctors had to sever nerves to remove the lipoma. Did that do more damage than good?
But recently, for some months now actually, I have held Richie's little foot in my hand while catheterising him, or while sitting quietly, and become aware of a twitching in the toes. And a certain downward pressure in response to me pushing his foot up into flexion. And then I could see it with my eyes - the toes twitching. The tiniest movement of a tiny toe has been the biggest positive event of my year.
2. Our cat, Flea, has stopeed needing her cat litter tray and goes outside for her bodily functions as she used to when she was a feral creature. Mostly, this is because one of our German Shepherds turned on her sister and started attacking her (apparently you mustn't buy two Alsatians from the same litter, who knew? Dodge breeders we got, maybe?). And then, thankfully, my saintly in-laws fell in love with the Underdog and have adopted her. Flea The Cat seems to feel more able to hold her own against two dogs, and so she's venturing outside again. Thus: this year, we are down to two dogs and one cat, which is a reasonable number for a household of our size. And no cat litter tray to clean! Listen, when you've got two kids in nappies with no idea when either will stop needing them, you'll take your continence from your animals if you must.
3. My husband. We've had no time together,he's worked insane hours, I bath-and-bed the kids on my own most nights, and we've faced our toughest year. We're a little bit fatter, greyer, balder, smoke more, exercise less, but we're unassailably a team and we have a kind of sixth sense-type connection, and similar attitudes about the Serious Things, for which I am so grateful. I would not have made it without him.
Richie is showing some very encouraging signs of doing the kinds of things the physios want him to be doing. He walks on his knees pushing a box or something on wheels in front of him. He reaches up higher and higher while on his knees.His balance is improving. So who knows? It could even be the year he walks. I'm not betting on it. But the hope is there.
Bring on 2012. May it be a good one for all of us.
'Holidays' this year have consisted of taking time off to go to Cape Town, in April, for Richie's massive back operation to remove the lipoma that was/is (but hopefully was) tethering his spinal cord and stretching it.
We went back in September for a follow-up visit.
That's three weeks of 'leave' used up right there. And neither trip was relaxing. And when you're both self-employed, three weeks of leave is three weeks unpaid, so you do the maths, and you don't go away again in December. (Not that it's worth going anywhere with 2 under 3, by the way. You just work harder, in a strange place, with fewer familiar toys and distractions.)
I'm happy we stayed in Jozi over the festive season. After an unsteady start, I got into the new rhythm of childcare, cleaning, cooking, and more childcare. We've grabbed Joburg's child-friendly attractions by the horns too, I must say. Beautiful Creatures, the Sci-Bono Museum, the Zoo, playdates aplenty, new local nurseries with ducks, playgrounds, friends, we even sampled Des and Dawn's kiddies' show at their theatre in Houghton...
Actually, it's been kinda fun.
Of course, I haven't taken on more than one or two small writing projects since sometime in early November, so I've had a long break from one of my jobs. I'm now finally looking forward to getting back into it.
2011 was my Annus Horribilis (sorry, Lizzie). The stress has been overwhelming, Richie still sleeps like a
But even kak years have their highlights. These are they:
1. Richie's left foot. If you read here regularly, you will always hear me referring to Richie's left foot as motionless and feelingless. It's the foot that drops down and that he has no muscle tone in at all. Part of what made 2011 so hard was that, once we'd survived the immense trauma of Richie's surgery, we both watched like football linesmen for any improvements in his condition. There were none. We had to get used to that. Second-guess ourselves: should he have had surgery at all? Did the surgery at least arrest further deterioration? The doctors had to sever nerves to remove the lipoma. Did that do more damage than good?
But recently, for some months now actually, I have held Richie's little foot in my hand while catheterising him, or while sitting quietly, and become aware of a twitching in the toes. And a certain downward pressure in response to me pushing his foot up into flexion. And then I could see it with my eyes - the toes twitching. The tiniest movement of a tiny toe has been the biggest positive event of my year.
2. Our cat, Flea, has stopeed needing her cat litter tray and goes outside for her bodily functions as she used to when she was a feral creature. Mostly, this is because one of our German Shepherds turned on her sister and started attacking her (apparently you mustn't buy two Alsatians from the same litter, who knew? Dodge breeders we got, maybe?). And then, thankfully, my saintly in-laws fell in love with the Underdog and have adopted her. Flea The Cat seems to feel more able to hold her own against two dogs, and so she's venturing outside again. Thus: this year, we are down to two dogs and one cat, which is a reasonable number for a household of our size. And no cat litter tray to clean! Listen, when you've got two kids in nappies with no idea when either will stop needing them, you'll take your continence from your animals if you must.
3. My husband. We've had no time together,he's worked insane hours, I bath-and-bed the kids on my own most nights, and we've faced our toughest year. We're a little bit fatter, greyer, balder, smoke more, exercise less, but we're unassailably a team and we have a kind of sixth sense-type connection, and similar attitudes about the Serious Things, for which I am so grateful. I would not have made it without him.
Richie is showing some very encouraging signs of doing the kinds of things the physios want him to be doing. He walks on his knees pushing a box or something on wheels in front of him. He reaches up higher and higher while on his knees.His balance is improving. So who knows? It could even be the year he walks. I'm not betting on it. But the hope is there.
Bring on 2012. May it be a good one for all of us.
Posts
Hang in there Margot. In 3 years (and if you think how quickly this one went that's not a long time at all) you will look back on all this and smile, wondering what all the fuss was about! Your adorable boys will be running around, without nappies, playing so hard they will fall into bed at night and SLEEP! You and John will have more alone time (and probably wonder what the hell to do with it). In the meantime, persevere and know that this is all because Someone up there knows you are a tough cookie and can take it, that you were specially selected because you are the only parents in the whole world who could have taken care of little Richie as he is, and he is blessed to have you as loving carers. Stay positive. All the best to you all in 2012. God Bless.....Gxxx
ReplyDeleteDoes Sean know about John?
ReplyDeleteDear g, thank you so much for the wise and timeous words! And Diane, you make me laugh always! Xxx
ReplyDeleteSorry - I meant Sean! Was thinking of Grandpa John lol.....Gxxx
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful positive post on a crappy year. We also had a rather crappy one but I am holding onto the hope that 2012 will be way better. Here's to a great one for you and the sprogs, and Sean, and the furry ones.
ReplyDelete