Monday, March 5, 2012

Once a teacher, always a cop

I think the single biggest reason I quit high school teaching was that, in retrospect, I was too young at 20 to endure matriculants rolling their eyes at me for my mispronunciations or self-consciously haphanded treatment of their slang.

Teachers develop this way of talking after a couple of years on the job. You know, where they prompt you for... (inflection goes up, like an Australian) the...? ANSwer. When they ask you... a...? Question. (Thud. Down goes the voice.)

But I couldn't outrun it. Parents do it too. You do it. I promise you do. Ask a child-free friend of yours. The chances are they have become annoyed with you for asking them if you'd like a... cup... of...? Tea.
My worst, pre-babies, was how our friends who are parents would start ordering us around all of a sudden. It's like it was so much part of their everyday speech that they transferred that mode to everybody they spoke to. It used to drive me mad to be told - in that bloody bossy voice: "Just put your cup in the sink so Kiddie doesn't grab it." "Bring me that wet wipe quickly! (exclamation mark included)", "Don't put Kiddie on the swing without standing behind him in case he falls off!" (No, really? Doh!) etc.

And then one day, you wake up, and you're asking your husband if he'd like to have soooome....? SEXy time! and you know you're done for.

It comes from mediating 5 million fights and averting 5 million accidents a day before 12 noon. You are MOOOOOOOOOH-MY! so many times a day you forget how to be an adult. You can leave teaching, but if you're a parent, you're destined to be a cop forever.

Resistance is futile. But please forgive us, child-free friends. We'll keep trying. And look, one day, you can look forward to us talking to you as if you're adolescents! Won't that be fun? At least then you'll get to sneer and roll your eyes at us.

Diane asked me how Richie and the walking is going. Great! Here's another video - within days, he'd lost interes in the restrictive walker and now he wants to push wagons and trolleys aroud - and he's getting pretty agile at it.

I uploaded another video to YouTube. It's happy viewing!

Unfortunately, Richie is a bit sick today (mouth ulcers, voice gone, off to ENT later) and has a bit sore red hot spot on his heel, so those damn splints have to be taken for another file-down at the orthotist yet again. It's going to be a long week. Sean is away doing hard labour in Siberia for a while - this has brought its own challenges, not least I miss the darn Arsebreath so much, plus I need him to come take on the children. But that is news for another day.

Monday, I'm a-comin' for you.

Trouble, you can't fool me.  I see you behind that tree. (Ry Cooder covered the song. Have a listen. It's good.)


  1. Funny!

    Love that video of Richie! He's definitely moving with speed! :D

    Good luck for the week! And the doctor...
    Monday is always the worst!

  2. This post is....?
    So true :)

    Hope Richie feels better soon.

  3. Hooray!!! Wow. He's improving at lightning speed!

  4. Awesome - he is doing sooooo well and is such a cutie. You should be very proud of all you have done for him, and mostly that you are letting him do things! Most parents would wrap their little ones with a similar condition in cotton wool and prevent them from developing - fearful of what MIGHT happen. Well done little Richie - Keep walking.... (but leave the Johnny Walker for Mom and Dad) lol.Love G

  5. He is walking with so much strength. Yes it's not perfect but he is WALKING!!!!!

    Good luck with the Shaun-less house. It's very hard losing 1 set of hands, especially in a house where they are so needed! Plus the brains and body will also be missed, lol!

    Hope Richie is better soon! Those mouth ulcers suck balls! Both kids had it a year ago and Mia ended up in hospital as she refused to eat or drink for more than 2 days. Poor baby was very dehidrated and needed a drip plus anti-viral meds.

    Good luck supermom!

  6. LOL can't wait for the teens!

  7. Hooray that you still have the energy... for... SEXy time! You are a wonder, Margie.

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