Everyone is hanging in until the end of the year by the dead skin cells on the skin of their teeth, aren't they?
I find myself snappy with the kids - it can feel like they fight, stop to whine, tattle a tale, get slighted, run off and sulk, cry, and then throw in a short giggle in endless rotations and quite frankly, that giggle isn't making up for as much as it used to be able to, a few more energetic months ago.
So we need to go on holiday already.
However, before we do, Sean has worked a three-week run of being called regularly at midnight, or 2am, working all the weekends, and it's all got a bit much. This weekend I had a bit of an epiphany though.
We've never been the types of parent who were easily able to practise "benign neglect" - that happy state where you observe your kids getting on with their lives and interests from a distance. We prefer the "If you're in the room, it's pretty much about you, kid" style, because constant scrutiny and being raised in the belief that nobody's needs top yours is clearly so much better for your children. Ha.
But as I say, I have been feeling short of temper as well as time, and so I got it into my head that I wished to clean out the disgusting gunk that had somehow accumulated in the creases and crevices of my fridge, on Sunday. A pre-departure cobweb-clearing spring clean, on a small scale, it felt like.
(Sean often accuses me of being sceptical as to the existence of germs while assuring me they are real things, and yes, I have been gung-ho about infections and immunity, until two things happened: I read an article forwarded to me by a dear friend about how some people struggle very much with chlostridium difficile infections, which is the Hospital Acquired SUPERBUG! which Richie got in hospital, and remember he had the Scabies Itchy Hand incident a few weeks ago, and I just thought... is our house really clean enough? I am hating our carpets and I know for sure neither I nor anyone else is vacuuming daily... And *then* I wrote an article for Your Pregnancy magazine on foods to avoid when you're pregnant, (it was a bit of an eye-opener, let's just say I would have been a little more careful if I'd written or read that article while pregnant myself) and like a typical first-year medical or psychology student who becomes convinced they are suffering from each disease or diagnosis I am now feeling, hm, spring-cleany.)
And instead of A) doing the task in the hour my children leave me at the end of the day when they've finally turned in and before I do or B) feeling guilty for doing it while they were awake, I took option C) this weekend and decided to spring-clean and potter to my heart's content for this one day and see how long I would be able to get away with it.
It worked surprisingly well. I know it wasn't actually as extreme as waking up one day and suddenly being able to do a whole lot of things I wasn't able to the day before. It's been more of a process of seeing my life gradually return to me a little bit. But life is really returning, every now and then. In bits and pieces. And it's been most gratifying.
I find myself snappy with the kids - it can feel like they fight, stop to whine, tattle a tale, get slighted, run off and sulk, cry, and then throw in a short giggle in endless rotations and quite frankly, that giggle isn't making up for as much as it used to be able to, a few more energetic months ago.
So we need to go on holiday already.
However, before we do, Sean has worked a three-week run of being called regularly at midnight, or 2am, working all the weekends, and it's all got a bit much. This weekend I had a bit of an epiphany though.
We've never been the types of parent who were easily able to practise "benign neglect" - that happy state where you observe your kids getting on with their lives and interests from a distance. We prefer the "If you're in the room, it's pretty much about you, kid" style, because constant scrutiny and being raised in the belief that nobody's needs top yours is clearly so much better for your children. Ha.
But as I say, I have been feeling short of temper as well as time, and so I got it into my head that I wished to clean out the disgusting gunk that had somehow accumulated in the creases and crevices of my fridge, on Sunday. A pre-departure cobweb-clearing spring clean, on a small scale, it felt like.
(Sean often accuses me of being sceptical as to the existence of germs while assuring me they are real things, and yes, I have been gung-ho about infections and immunity, until two things happened: I read an article forwarded to me by a dear friend about how some people struggle very much with chlostridium difficile infections, which is the Hospital Acquired SUPERBUG! which Richie got in hospital, and remember he had the Scabies Itchy Hand incident a few weeks ago, and I just thought... is our house really clean enough? I am hating our carpets and I know for sure neither I nor anyone else is vacuuming daily... And *then* I wrote an article for Your Pregnancy magazine on foods to avoid when you're pregnant, (it was a bit of an eye-opener, let's just say I would have been a little more careful if I'd written or read that article while pregnant myself) and like a typical first-year medical or psychology student who becomes convinced they are suffering from each disease or diagnosis I am now feeling, hm, spring-cleany.)
And instead of A) doing the task in the hour my children leave me at the end of the day when they've finally turned in and before I do or B) feeling guilty for doing it while they were awake, I took option C) this weekend and decided to spring-clean and potter to my heart's content for this one day and see how long I would be able to get away with it.
It worked surprisingly well. I know it wasn't actually as extreme as waking up one day and suddenly being able to do a whole lot of things I wasn't able to the day before. It's been more of a process of seeing my life gradually return to me a little bit. But life is really returning, every now and then. In bits and pieces. And it's been most gratifying.
The end of the year can't get here fast enough. Have fun with your bit of space and good luck with the fridge gunk(I am at the pretend I don't notice the smell stage but I just blame the preggy hormones.)
ReplyDeleteMargot, so interesting your article. I think I did the all about you thing with Dyl as he was my first born and super duper interesting and now he is just super duper needy. With Evan, I kind of assume her brother will amuse her and largely leave her be - of course I engage and interact but not on the same intense level at all and I just find she pretty much gets up to her own thing and is able to amuse herself quite well without my constant input. In fact I have to go see if she is okay on weekends as I don't see/hear from her for ages. Not sure if it's a second born thing, a girl thing or just a change in my parenting style - interesting though.
ReplyDeleteIs it the time of the year? In between being exhausted I need to clean
ReplyDelete