Friday, March 28, 2014

Richie gives a lesson in manners

The Anecdote:

Richie's in the bath, Felix is lurking around outside giving me the pre-adolescent death glare.
"I don't want to shower," he gnarls.
"Felix. You don't have to be rude. Try to just say, 'No thank you Mommy,'" chips in precocious little brother in a honeyed voice.

The Life Lesson:

Ha, ha, how funny? To have the oft-repeated parental injunctions repeated back to us is thrilling (not everything we do and say is in vain). It's gratifying. I try to do the "feelings-based" parenting style that I don't have a label for, but you guys know what I mean, right? The right-on, morally superior, thought-through, DEFINITELY and above all non-violent "Mommy asked Mommy's feelings about when you spilled your juice on purpose on Mommy's new silk blouse and Mommy's feelings are giving her a 'No' message about that behaviour" thing.

I can't sustain it. I try, and I do see results, and Richie really DOES stomp off to his room to go kick stuff instead of hitting Felix, sometimes. But I feel like a fool doing it, and The Shrink says that you can and are only going to do what you are going to do authentically, because you have to be prepared to sustain it. And I'm not. This train of thought did, however, lead me to love the group Sanctimommy on Facebook. I you've been reading this and nodding, then go off there and enjoy some excellent laughs for those days when you don't quite match up to the New Age Parenting standards.



  1. love it. my daughter (aged 2 and a half) said the following to me in a shop the other day: "No touching mommy! Only looking! You look with your EYES not your hands!" Touche!

  2. Precious child and I am off to Facebook right now. No matter how I try I do end up with more of the old fashioned approaches if all else fails. And Mamaste to you too - breathe in, breathe out